Harrison Scott Key has written “College Football Fables” and they’re great

by Mr. Sheehy

The Honors Student and the Grasshopper

An honors student and a grasshopper were freshman roommates. The grasshopper immersed herself in the vibrant cultural life of the university. She went to parties, pledged a sorority, tailgated during home games, and sat in the student section with her locust boyfriend, cheering for the team. All the while, the honors student was sitting in the dorm every night studying and reading graphic novels. The grasshopper was worried that her roommate was depressed. Soon, the fun days of football were over and it was time for final exams. The grasshopper, having frittered her days away in carnal reverie, realized she had a paper due and had no idea what to write. “I will ask my roommate for help, because she’s an honors student,” she said to herself, but when she got back to the dorm, she found a note from her roommate saying she’d dropped out and moved back home.

Moral: Graphic novels are usually a cry for help.

Harrison Scott Key is a very funny man. You can read more College Football Fables at the Oxford American.